Spring at last, a good time for apologies. I’ve got two. Please don’t be offended if I say the that first and less important one is to you, for leaving you on a bummer note for the dark months since December.
More importantly, for Forest, “Sweetheart, I am so sorry.”
Know what? He’s not “A Pusher.”
No. It’s true. And I am not Mrs. Dursely here. I know that because of the wonderfulness of last night’s visit from Katy, who pointed out that when Maggie dumped dirt on Forest in my front yeard, he did not take her down, as once might have been, but walked over to Katy and asked for help with his situation.
I know this, because he is now at a full-time day care with Miss Angie and is kicking it. Or, should I say, not kicking it. When I enrolled him, I did a full disclosure thing. (You know I can’t help myself. I am an over-sharer.) She said she’d meet him, but she had a really sweet group and she had to be picky…
He has now been there for four months. Within a week and a half of being there, the pushing was over and he was potty-trained. Seriously. I attribute it to three things. One, Miss Angie actually loves kids. And they can tell. Two: She is totally drama free. Three, she’s had most of the mixed age group since they were babies and --since she has mad skills -- her herd is awesome. She’s got some gentle three and four year old boys in there who are awesome heroes for the Fox. Don’t underestimate the power of a good herd.
So, to sum up: He just needed a loving teacher with skills. (And the herd that maketh.)
I know that sounds mean. But when I look back on the warning signs that I ignored – that the previous gals showed no affection for him, that they had no ideas how to help him, that they didn’t tell me he needed some help --
Well, I have to say it again. “I’m very sorry, Sweetheart.”
He’s blooming now, though. Rambunctious and kind. Generous and rowdy. Plus, a good dancer.. .Me and him and Maggie and Christina did the octopus dance together last night and he stayed right there with the girls without a white man’s overbite in sight. My kind of guy.
Special thanks going out to his babysitter, who said to me, in the midst of the badness, “Don’t you believe them. Forest doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. They just want easy kids who will sit still and color all the time.” She’s worked in day cares, now is a full-time nanny when she isn’t whisking the Fox off for some adventure. “I’ve seen it happen too many times,” she said. “The day care convinces you that your kid is the problem and the real problem is they aren’t doing their job.”
Amen, sister. And a shout out to any mom who is hearing this bullshit. It’s not that your kid is bad. Or that there isn’t something to do. Its just that you and his teachers need a plan, together. And some skills.
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