Woke up from second day of head cold. But for some reason, the snot in my head has not crowded out The List.
1. Write every day.
2. Blog every day.
3. Record my dreams every day in dream journal. (Note: Buy special dream journal.)
4. Do my physical therapy/ yoga/ ass-lifting exercises
5. Beat myself up for not doing the things on this list
Actually, the only thing on this list I hit with regularity is the last one. I felt it start this am as I watched the last coffee beans whir into an inadequate amount of grounds for our Sunday morning potta. I thought, there is just not enough in here. Someone is going to have to drink leftovers from yesterday.
Why don't my lists work that way? Leftovers from yesterday... Like "Good job, Andrews! You lifted your ass a whole millimeter yesterday. Take a victory lap (which, in this fantasy, would be a victory nap) and do something else today."
But NO. Edith wants to check off the whole list every day. Actually, what Edith really wants is to harp on number 5. This is total bullshit.
In case you are unfamiliar with Edith, this is the name for my inner critic, a technique I cannot recommend highly enough. It is one thing to "Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer," as said by Chinese general military strategis Sun-tzu in 400 BC.
It is another to let them wander around in your mind invisible.
(I love old quotes. Makes me feel so smart.)
Anyway, I noticed the sneaky list this morning. Sometimes it roams around in my head like a free radical, taking the sunny out of my day. Today, there is only one thing on the list that I am getting rid of. Number 5. Sayonara, Edith. At least for today.
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I wonder if entertaining me would be motivation enough to blog a little more often? Not that anything is about me, but your Edith seems to channel my critic a lot, as does your warrior. As a result I find your writing both poignant and hil-freakin-larious. It's like having somebody else work out for me! Not everyday though: because I'm thinking there aren't many things that should happen everyday since that kind of "should" is destined for failure. Let's save "everyday" for breathing and eating and attempting to love ourselves and those that love us. Hope you are feeling better!
ReplyDeleteKaty